Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
