She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
