Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
