Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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