I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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