That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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