me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
