his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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