I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
