before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
