you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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