You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
