Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
