well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
