So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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