How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
