I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
