Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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