A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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