I haven't been this sober since birth.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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