She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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