Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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