he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
