Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
