I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
