Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she pinky promised me she was 18
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She bit a glass in half.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
