who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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