I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
