I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
