**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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