I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
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