the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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