I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
