I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
