I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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