White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
