im gay
i know
yea but for you.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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