Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
