I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
