His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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