the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
