Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
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