You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
