On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
