her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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