i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
