brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
