I'm drive I can fine osifer
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
