I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
you will always have a special place in my vag
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
