No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
