Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
