She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I think pants incapable of making pants work
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
