But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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