this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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