i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Edward fifth and chaser hands
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
